This one has been life changing in many of my relationships – friends, spouse and others.

I have opinions … yes, I know you are surprised.

The challenge when you are with someone with their own opinion, or a group discussion where everyone has their own opinion, is that it is difficult to be able to put forward a fully-formed thought or idea without interruption. 

As an analogy… let’s use a forest.

You have specific point you would like to make – a particular, specific end point that requires explanation and for people to follow the logic to define it.  A leaf.

In order to get your listeners to the leaf in the forest you want them to consider, you have to direct them through the forest to the right tree, to the right branch, the right twig and There It Is!

With more complex ideas, it is very, very challenging to have someone follow your train of thought and allow you to bring them to that leaf without interruption (they usually think they know where you are going and try to help).   You lose track of your path  ~ an interrupted deep thought is a lost deep thought.

The premise of the 3 Minute Theory sounds simplistic … but again, and as noted in the Life’s Tips Intro, this is one that everyone has to agree to abide by and to have defined the parameters in advance.

There are some instructions but it is not complex – just logical and respectful!

Firstly – someone calls 3 Minute Theory when they have an idea, concept, opinion or topic that they would like to get out and no one seems to be listening.

(By the way, this is way more fun and challenging with cocktails!)

Secondly – all agree.

Thirdly – get a kitchen timer – yes, you need a physical timer.  There are a few reasons for this.  A timer makes it kind of funny.  A timer keeps the person speaking on track and does not allow for rambling.  A timer lets the listeners know that this will not be an interminable lecture.

Needless to say, 3 Minutes on the timer.

Fourthly – optional but I recommend it – each person gets a pen and paper .  A few more reasons.  The person speaking will probably develop their thought through several components that the listener would like to address – the pen and paper allows the listener to jot down key words through the idea so that their minds are not trying to retain their questions and still have the confidence that they can speak their thoughts when it is their time ~ they can release it and truly listen.

For the speaker, they will see the listener briefly jot down reference words but on the whole, listen intently to what they are saying and taking in their idea.

When the buzzer goes off, the listener reviews their notes and takes the timer.

Repeat with the next or other person.

Qualifier: Please be humble ~ there is always the possibility that your idea is boring or idiotic and that is why no one was listening!