Let’s start with a couple of simple example challenges.
Neither are life changing … both are quite minor but … over time … they can become a much bigger frustration and become an Issue!
So, how do you deal with them logically?
Logic says that in each case you have a discussion putting forward why both people do it the way they do and the person with the best plan wins.
HA !!
That does not work in these types of disputes. Speaking from experience here.
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1. You live with someone and they do not stack the dishwasher the way you like it.
There is more at stake than where you put the bowl or whether you put the forks up or down.
2. Does the toilet paper roll from the top or the bottom?
I, personally, like it from the bottom. This subject has so many comments when it comes up you would think the topic was politics, religion or money! I get sent diagrams of the original patent showing it from the top as well as somewhat exuberant opinions on why the top is the only correct way.
(To that point that I know someone who, whenever visiting our home, would switch it over in my bathroom. The photo above was my solution to stop the madness! Unfortunately, a handy pocket knife on their part negated my well-thought-out-and-executed plan!)
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Holy Crap, eh? Just about a dishwasher ~ Just about toilet paper.
It is amazing how so many small items become so much more.
What it really comes down to is Control. It is about how you have always done it. It is about having to change who you are and how you do things.
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To come to a resolution about this, I believe that it requires each party to have a desire to reconcile and, most importantly, to have a good sense of Ha Ha.
Can you do that? Can both of you? Or the three of you? Or whatever combination you have in your life?
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Let’s go … here are my resolutions.
Dishwasher challenge.
Unless all of you share the duties of cleaning dinner and putting it away, it goes to the person who takes care of that. What that means is that if you are just randomly putting dishes in and do not take care of the big cleans after dinner, you have to give it up.
If one cooks and one cleans, the person who cleans gets to decide. Irrelevant if it they are extraneous dishes that don’t relate to the everyday meal. Give It Up.
Conversely, you could get a new dishwasher and start from scratch so no one has an idea of what the heck is happening. (That solved it for us.)
Toilet Paper challenge:
Who really gives a crap? (pun intended) This one goes back to my The Rating System post if it is that important to one of you, but, in our household, it has become a source of humor and pranks. Never discussed anymore, just switched around by whomever feels that it is wrong at that moment.
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Both of these have a logical component although it should be noted that although logic is always objective, it can be subjective if the person speaking is talking about something that is not fact based but is more common sense or opinion based. This is where it gets interesting!
Life evolves. Sometimes how you have always done it needs to change. Are you set on that way because you feel it is right or because it is easier? Did you make a decision on that issue at some point in your life and have never revisited it?
Our choices, opinions and ultimate decisions should not be static. We grow, change and evolve – so shouldn’t how we do things, how we feel about things and what our belief systems are change as well?
All that said, leave my dishwasher alone and put the toilet paper so that it rolls from underneath.
That is the way I have always done it.